So I have a YouTube channel. It’s not pretty. It’s hasn’t the spontaneity of youth or the polish of a confident, mature woman. It’s just me being me really. I don’t know why I don’t wear makeup or dye my hair. I’m not interested in jewellery or cars.  I would have liked to travel more, to have more girlfriends. I’ve always been a book worm, a dreamer, a romantic. My family, followed by books, music and film make me happy. I’d rather: read a chapter than put on makeup. Cuddle up to my husband and watch Line of Duty. Binge watch OA with my kids.

I wasn’t destined to be a writer. Writing saved me. I had to be good at it. Opportunities are limited for people like me with few qualifications and a major disability that interferes with the standard time clock. If I wake at two am or five it’s fine because I can write.

Now I’m a channel producer, a promoter.

On Tuesday I’m off to The House of Lords for a reception related to my condition and its charity. If anyone asks what I do, I will confidently say I’m an author. I’m not getting ahead of myself; I’ve only sold about two hundred copies and have only a handful of reviews on Amazon, but Lynne, Andrea, Laura, Jess, readers of twitter and instagram have enjoyed Random Attachment. So here I am plugging away, asking my WordPress family to check out my vlog, subscribe, maybe buy my book, perhaps twitter it or instagram. I think what I’m saying is I can’t glam up, or be witty, or be someone I’m not to promote my book.

For many indie authors we need the kindness and generosity of others to make this work. That’s why #indieapril is so cool.

I read To Save A World by American author Hollis Jo McCollum. It’s my first fantasy read ever! About a world in chaos following an apocalypse. With Eithne, an elf breaking free of the confines of her tribe to embark on a treacherous adventure. Alongside the aloof but valiant captain of the guard, Darian, she challenges tradition with her bravery and
swordsmanship saving Darian. It is a drama filled with action, dangerous beasts, double crossing and a strong attraction between Eithne and Darian. I’m so impressed with this debut fantasy. To imagine worlds, conflicts, fantasy characters, geographical scenery is a talent. I think Hollis has only tipped the edge of her talent. If she had an editor and publisher on side I think she would flourish. Having enjoyed this fantasy drama I’ve started reading The Cruel Prince, so thank you Hollis for such a riveting introduction to fantasy.

Being an indie author is hard, my advice to would be writers is to strive to get professional representation.  Yes…it’s incredibly hard to get represented especially if your novel is a slow burner and doesn’t shine in the first three chapters…but it does happen.  I’m a great example of that.  So why am I now an Indie author?  Because I was an idiot really.  Seriously, so many reasons: I was too enthusiastic.  I said yes when I should have said no.  I wasn’t confident enough in my writing to know what was right or wrong for a character.  Catherine had faith in me but I lacked faith in myself. I think I wasn’t ready for it.  Now? I’m definitely ready.  I know RANDOM ATTACHMENT is a great YA novel, probably a brilliant Netflix film  My reviews confirm it and when I get a bad review, which I will, I’ll consider it but I won’t turn RA upside down in the process.  My poor agent must have felt like she was reading a totally different book each time I sent it to her.  I’m mature enough to know it was me and not her.  Immaturely, I walked away instead of talking to Catherine about how I felt. But it’s quite an overwhelming event when you are on the brink of something amazing.   Now I’m relaxed.  I take my time with my novels, give them the care and attention they deserve.  If Catherine took me back she’d find a better version of me.  A writer who knows her characters, who wont compromise them so easily but a humble client who knows how hard an agent has to work to get a deal.

Please come get me.

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RANDOM ATTACHMENT https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790375347/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_T2GZCb200MHNZ